Do You Really Want to be Friends?

As a parent, it is my job to not only tell my kids how to behave but to also teach them to choose to behave correctly. By teaching, I do not mean that I seek to instill in them a fear of punishment (although that may be necessary from time to time) but my goal is to instruct them to make correct choices themselves. To this end, I often try to explain the reason for my decision and I do this with increasing frequency, transparency and openness as they mature. It is one of my greatest pleasures when one of my children decides on his or her own to take an action or avoid an activity that I would have promoted or prohibited had I been required to make that decision for them.

I think this is at least part of what Jesus meant when He said, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15). Jesus doesn’t always want to be telling us what to do; He wants us to so know His heart that we naturally choose the same things He does. Two of the greatest figures of the Bible, Abraham and Moses, were described as friends of God. With both, God shared His heart and even discussed – a two-way conversation – His plans (e.g. Genesis 18:16-33).

But getting back to my kids, at least two of mine would sometimes prefer that I just tell them what to do. Getting to know my thinking and understanding my reasoning takes time and effort. And then there’s the added responsibility. If I tell them what to do and they do it, how much trouble can they get in? If they make the decision, they may make a mistake (which they don’t realize is all part of the process). But I want them to grow up and make wise choices because they see the wisdom, not because they are following a list of rules.

So when we read that Jesus wants to be friends with us, we may think what a nice sentiment that is. But are we willing to spend the time getting to know Him so that He can share His heart? Are we willing to let go of our ways of doing things and consider the possibility that there is a better way? Are we willing to spread our wings and try to fly, knowing that we may fall more than a few times? Or do we really want to stay immature and simply servants?

Beautiful Women

The other night I happened across a new television program, Rookie Blue, starring, among others, Missy Peregrym as Officer Andy McNally. As much as I enjoyed the show, I was really captivated by the beauty of Ms. Peregrym. I could have watched her for hours. Her looks, her smile, her (character’s) personality: wow! And there are other women, both on and off the screen, with whom I have been similarly taken. (As alluded to in a previous post, one such example is Drew Barrymore. Some of my other favorite celebrities are Sandra Bullock, Liv Tyler and Ellie Kemper.)

I realized that my appreciation of the beauty of these women, the enjoyment I experience watching them, and my desire to spend more (or some) time with them is but a small part of how God looks at us. After all, the Bible calls the Church (i.e. all true believers) the bride of Christ. Jesus delights in us, enjoys seeing us and wants to spend all of His time with us.

Wow.

My Relationship with Drew Barrymore

I'm a huge fan of Drew Barrymore. My kids would even say I'm infatuated with her. I love everything she does: I love pictures of her, movies she's in, talk shows on which she's a guest, everything. To me, she lights up the screen in way that is quite unusual. There is a joy she exudes that blesses me in that it uplifts me. I am a huge fan.

But she doesn't even know I exist.

Although I am not, I could be an even bigger fan. I could make it my business to know everything I could possibly know about her. I could devour celebrity magazines and watch celebrity “news” shows to make sure I was up on the latest developments in her life. I could read biographies – authorized and not. I could seek to know as much about her as is humanly possible.

And she still wouldn't know I exist.

As some do, I could start a fan website, a Facebook page devoted to Ms. Barrymore, anything at all to show my appreciation for her and to make others aware of her many wonderful qualities. I could do my part to encourage others to watch her movies and thereby increase her following. In short, I could seek to become her number-one fan.

And if she saw me on the street, she wouldn't even know who I was.

Although I may claim to know Drew Barrymore – and indeed, may know more about her than most people – she and I have no real relationship: I don't know her heart, her passions, her dreams, her heartaches. There's no intimacy.

Jesus has a lot of fans. And many are truly devoted and enthusiastic. But with how many does He have a true, two-way, intimate relationship? How many are just fans and not friends?

About many of His followers, Jesus said, “Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'” (Matt. 7:21-23)

Note all theses fans do for Him (prophesying, driving out demons, performing miracles). But they don't know His heart. There's no intimacy. And that's the only thing that matters.

What Would Jesus Do (On Line at Airport Security)?

I was at the airport one day recently, making my way through the typically long lines at security. A man raced up to the TSA officer at the front of the line who was checking IDs and boarding passes. Desperate, he explained that his flight was due to leave in only a few minutes and asked if he could cut the lengthy line. The officer told the man that he could – but only if he received permission from everyone on line. As you can imagine, the probability of this was close to zero.

Then a second man, close to the front of the line, about to finally have his ID checked and be allowed to proceed, offered to go to the very end of the line and let the first man take his place. This way no one would be inconvenienced except for him. The first man gratefully accepted this generous offer, greatly relieved at now being able to make his flight.

As the second man turned to head to the back of the line, the security officer, perhaps moved by this display of selfless compassion, called him back and cleared him to proceed without having to wait on line again.

A clearer picture of Jesus (the second man), the Father (the officer) and us (the first man), I have never before seen.

What is Mine

How many times have I see the following scenario played out: I give one of my children something they enjoy – for example, a package of gum or Kit Kats, something that is more than they can consume or use at the moment, something that they will enjoy now and which they can, if they choose, keep and enjoy again and again. And then that child's sister or brother comes along and asks for a piece of the gift – a stick of gum, a segment of a Kit Kat. So often the response is “No, this is mine” or “But then I won't have enough.”

Where does my son or daughter think the candy has come from? Do they think they have labored long and hard and brought it into existence or, at least, into their possession? Furthermore, is this the one and only time I have given them such gift? Do they have no hope or expectation of ever seeing such bounty again in the future?

Of course, these are rhetorical questions for I have no understanding why they would think the way they do (their thinking being made so clear by their actions). I gave them this gift – as I have many times before and as I will surely do many times again – unexpectedly and not because of anything they have done but simply because I love them and love to make them happy.

It pains me that they would cling so ferociously to what I have given them as a free gift and what I plan on giving them again, from what is an essentially endless storehouse of love and gifts.

Why, oh, why do I do the same to the poor, the needy, the even momentarily less fortunate? Do I not trust my Father??

Ending Well

There's a scene in the film, Apollo 13, where the astronauts have overcome most of the obstacles they've encountered and have one last hurdle in order to arrive home safely: reentry into the earth's atmosphere.

If they enter the atmosphere at too steep an angle, they will burn up. If they enter the atmosphere at an angle that is too shallow, they will skip off and be lost in space forever. They must enter the atmosphere at an extremely precise angle.

As the three astronauts prepare for the final engine burn which will either set them on the path towards home or towards death, they have no computer to automatically guide them. They must manually set their course toward the narrow gate that will lead to their safe return. To do this they set their sights on the line across the earth where night ends and day begins. If they are not aimed at this point when they fire their engines, they will have lost all hope of making it back home.

The astronauts start the engines and are immediately off on a wild ride. The spacecraft wobbles in every direction and as they try to correct and steer towards their goal, they sometimes overshoot and point the ship in yet another wrong direction. Sometimes they get the direction right but then are once again over-steering and heading off course.

Just as the engines are about to shut down, they get themselves perfectly lined up with the earth. All the back and forth they experienced, sometimes on target, sometimes off, doesn't matter as much as the fact that, when the ride was over, they were aimed in the right direction. Their striving is over, their safe arrival home assured.

Of course, all that the astronauts did before the last few minutes is important. But all of that would have been for naught if they had not ended well.

Strive to enter through the narrow gate and be sure to run the race to its completion (see Matt. 7:13-14 and 1 Cor. 9:24-27).

Independent-Minded

My five-year-old got into her car seat yesterday and then reached over to close the car door behind her. She's getting to be a big girl now so she likes to do things herself when she can. This time the car door was open far enough that she was having difficulty getting it to move. I had already noticed this and had reached back from the driver's seat, with my arm outside the car and where my hand wasn't visible, to give the door a little nudge. My daughter started to ask me to help her and, since I already saw the difficulty she was experiencing, I immediately gave the door a small push to get it going. Just as quickly, my daughter told me “Never mind” - that she had it under control and didn't need my help. I just smiled to myself.

Is this not like me and God? Oh, sure, there are areas of my life that I need Him – often desperately. And there are areas where I count on Him in perhaps a less desperate way. But aren't there areas which I have under control, where I don't really need His hand? Heck, I can make breakfast for the kids, get my work done for my employer, go shopping for food and even drive my car anywhere I like without His intervention.

Or can I?